Blonde Moment!

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Blonde Moment!

Post by Darklightning Icefox on Sun May 24, 2009 9:20 am

i met a blonde that was so stupid, she stared at the orange juice box for 20 min . because it said concentrate
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by The Pokemon Master on Mon May 25, 2009 5:22 pm

I met a blonde that was so stupid: she went online to a sex site and found that women were supposed to suck male cocks. So she went to the farm and sucked away at a rooster.

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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Icefox on Mon May 25, 2009 7:59 pm

Civic Lesson
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"



Thanksgiving Practical Joke
Last Thanksgiving, my mom decided to play a trick on my sister (who's blonde). To get her out of the house, she convinced her that we needed more half and half for the coffee.

While my sister was out, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, then put it inside the turkey, packing stuffing all around it. She then put the turkey back in the oven.

When everything was ready, my sister took the turkey out of the oven and began to remove the stuffing. When she felt something, she reached in and pulled out the Cornish hen.

Pretending to be shocked, by mother exclaimed, "Patti, you've cooked a pregnant turkey!"

My sister began to cry and was inconsolable. It took us half an hour to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!



The Perfect Christmas Tree
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"



Meeting St. Peter
Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!



Parachute Jumping
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"



The Bet
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

New Puppy
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."

The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."

"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."

"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.

After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"



What Kind of Tracks Are They?
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Guest on Tue May 26, 2009 9:55 am

Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


A Blonde Job Interview
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.

The interviewer starts with the basics.

"So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.

"And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag.

She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics, something that she won't have to count, measure, or lookup.

"Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Cindy!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"

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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Darklightning Icefox on Tue May 26, 2009 5:46 pm

NASA experiment

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Guest on Sat May 30, 2009 3:45 pm

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then. ... "He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

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Post by Icefox on Sat May 30, 2009 4:20 pm

lol
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Post by Darklightning Icefox on Sun May 31, 2009 3:20 am

XD LOL
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by ever25 on Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:10 pm

a blonde asked wat type of asians are caucasians
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Post by Darklightning Icefox on Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:42 pm

Laughing








Icefox: Ironeon please put comment for when u arent posting a joke
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Post by Icefox on Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:00 am

lol these r funny
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Post by stardust on Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:01 pm

i know right
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Darklightning Icefox on Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:12 pm

Best topic ever {and that's not just because i made it}
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by stardust on Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:26 pm

haha.....could b because of that Very Happy
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Post by The Pokemon Master on Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:49 am

curtiss375 wrote:A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then. ... "He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

LOL!!!!!

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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by AmyLeeXD on Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:43 pm

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were running away from the police.
The redhead is cornered, and so she points to the sky and says, 'tornado!' the cops turn to look, and she runs away.
Next, the brunette becomes cornered. She points to the mountains and screams, 'avalanche!' the cops turn to look, and she runs away.

Lastly, the blonde runs into the police. Cornered, she panics and yells, "Fire!"

The cops open fire.
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by AmyLeeXD on Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:45 pm

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are hiding in a barn. The brunette hides behind the chickens, the redhead hides behind the cows, and the blonde hides in the sack of potatoes.

When the farmer walks in and passes the chickens, the brunette goes, 'bawk bawk' and the farmer continues. As he passes the cows, the redhead goes, 'moooo' and the farmer continues. as he passes the potatoes, the blonde goes, 'potato potato'.
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Post by Guest on Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:40 pm

LOL!!!

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Post by E.P.T.C Bot on Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:44 pm

nice ones amylee
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Post by Z-man on Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:57 pm

The Pokemon Master wrote:
curtiss375 wrote:A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then. ... "He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

LOL!!!!!
hahaha, wow amazing! haha Smile great 1
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Post by Guest on Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:10 pm

anyone know anymore?

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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by stardust on Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:59 pm

curtiss375 wrote:anyone know anymore?
guess not Sad
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Post by AmyLeeXD on Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:34 pm

Real_Pika 7th Dragon wrote:nice ones amylee

Thank you(:

I knew alot of these but I forgot them..
I'll try and remember
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Otaku12 on Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:49 pm

I got this from Saturday Night Live Toungue

A blonde is talking about how she was featured in a movie (I forget her name)

BLONDE: A lot of people think I'm a dumb blonde because I was in a movie as a dumb blonde. Well I'm here to tell you...that is so true! (turns to another camera and talks in a quiet voice) It's like...when I'm talking to a person...not only will I forget what they're talking about, I'll forget who they are....(turns back to other camera) WHOOOO! anyways, I-
*this is a bunch of stuff that she says that I forgot Embarassed *
BLONDE: (turns to other camera)........i forgot I was gonna say....WHOOOOO!
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Re: Blonde Moment!

Post by Combo on Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:52 pm

AmyLeeXD wrote:A blonde, brunette, and redhead are hiding in a barn. The brunette hides behind the chickens, the redhead hides behind the cows, and the blonde hides in the sack of potatoes.

When the farmer walks in and passes the chickens, the brunette goes, 'bawk bawk' and the farmer continues. As he passes the cows, the redhead goes, 'moooo' and the farmer continues. as he passes the potatoes, the blonde goes, 'potato potato'.
lmao
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